Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Dumb Customers #4

Customers have belly issues. Something about going to shop at Sears gives people the urge to flaunt their guts. When I say guts I don't mean abs, I mean beer-bellies and I-ate-one-to-many-tortillas- bellies.

These women walk in with stretch denim pants that were bought 2 sizes to small. Fabric can only stretch so far and when one can see the zipper holding on for its dear life...one would think a lightbulb would go off. But no...instead of a lightbulb, the fashion devil pops up and says, "Hey why don't you put on that shirt you've had since you were 5; the tight shirt will look hot with the tight pants." So then not only is there a camel toe talking to you, but a stretch-marked navel smiling at you as well. What's worse is that these women walk around thinking they are hot stuff. It's Nasty!!!

The men are actually nastier due to men being hairy creatures. In the Hardware section these men come in from oil rigs and under cars to purchase tools. Since they are no-longer at work they untuck their shirts. Therefore their apron of fat is peeping out from the bottom of the shirt and doing a jiggly dance with ever step the men take. Another thing is that these men don't have asses. There isn't a lump to hold up their pants, so not only do you get a belly dance but you get to see the crack house in all its hairy glory.

I can't count the number of times these people have almost made me vomit.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Dumb Customers #3

So this family came into Sears tonight. They came in at 8:59...we close at 9. The manager gives the "We are now closed" announcement and they pick out clothes and head for the dressing rooms to try it all on. These people are taking their sweet ass time sifting through items, so the manager gives the announcement a second time. I swear these people were fucking deaf. I am stewing in my cashwrap at this time because I am unbelievably pissed that I can't close my register and go home because this family of assholes decided to shop in a closed store. Then the bastards come up to my cashwrap and say somewhat meakly, "Can we check out?" I soo wanted to tell them no, but my manager was near. I angrily rang them up. I seriously made it known that I was pissed off at them. I gave the typical evil glare, the only words they heard out of my mouth were,"your total is..," and I slammed every fucking thing in sight. I slammed the ink tag puller-offer-thingy, the detail drawer, the register keys, their items, and then oh-so-nicely threw all their shit in a bag. They did not recieve and "Have a nice evening" from me, but a "I hope you vanish" stare.

Their night shopping wasn't over though, they still wanted to buy a refrigerator. Poor T, in appliances had to deal with them next.

What the hell is so hard to understand about the word 'closed?'

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Unnecessarily Open

Sears is falling apart. I mean, K-Mart bought it out...damn. We recently had a meeting that we were forced to attend after closing. It was about all the random benefits that were being cut because Sears can barely afford to turn the lights on. The meetings was utterly pointless because all the benefits being discussed only affected full-time employees. The only full-time employee in the room was the manager giving the meeting. Half of us slept, half of us made smart-ass comments.

I have a proposal for Sears. Instead of cutting employee benefits why don't they cut down the time Sears is actually open. NO one shops at Sears! Yet I now have to wake up and go to work at 7:45 AM on a Saturday because Sears thinks it will make an extra buck by opening early. At a store with actual customers that could work, but at Sears...I don't think so. We also open 2 hours earlier than the mall we are connected to on Sundays. Customers don't start filtering in till about 2:30 PM, because they don't know we open at the ass-crack of dawn.

Honestly, I think if Sears were only open Friday through Sunday it would make the same amount of money, give or take a couple hundred bucks. Sears would save money by not having to keep the lights and air on for the weekdays that no one shops. I was at work today, a Wednesday, from 12:45 to 9. Out of those 8 hours I probably checked out 30 people. I got paid to lean against a counter and daydream various sexual fantasies. That's right, sexual---one's mind tends to wander when stuck in the most extreme state of boredom possible for 8 hours.