Sunday, April 24, 2005

Something's in the Dr. Pepper

Employees can easily pass along sickness to other employees at work. If one person gets a cold everyone else will have it too i.e. the Stomach Virus Epidemic of January. Put it this way, Hardware needed to be quarantined. If you worked in that section for one day you at least had respiratory problems the next day. If two days, you were vomiting.

However now, we have a slightly different, yet similar problem. When I first started working at Sears there were 3 pregnant women. Within the last month we have a grand total of 7 pregnant women. I am not even with a guy yet I am a bit nervous about ending up #8. It's like there are sperm floating in the air! If I go to the bathroom are they going to fly in?!

Recently my fear has subsided thanks to pregnant woman #3. She told me quite firmly to stop drinking the Break Room Dr.Pepper.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Annoying Kid

Being that Sears is so unbelievably dull, the littlest shit ticks me off. I guess that could be because I need drama to keep my self sane when in mundane situations?

I am checking this mom out at the register in Men's today and she has her 3 kids with her. All is well and usual until the little girl comes and stands by my Cashwrap door. I am looking at her in the corner of my eye while she is swinging back and forth on the door. Mistake number one! I fucking hate it when people mess with MY Cashwrap door. My territorial female instincts switch on when MY door is touched my a civilian. Then the little girl decides that she is allowed to come inside MY Cashwrap. Mistake number two! She steps in slowly like she is being sneaky or something and then sways with this stupid "ha ha, I'm in your area and you can't do anything about it!" grin on her face. The mother of course is just writing a check and calmly says,"Get out of there sweetie." Naturally, Sweetie doesn't listen. Sweetie stays there and smiles at me. When they walked away I gave her an evil look because that is all I am allowed.

Is it wrong that I wanted to smite her with my swinging door?

Monday, April 04, 2005

Dumb Customers #2

Sears is infamous for having misleading (as the customers put it)signs. Actually our signs aren't misleading, they are specific if you actually READ them. I swear, literacy is a serious problem for Sears shoppers.

Today this woman comes up to my register in the Men's section of Sears. She has a pile of kids clothes and wants me to tell her the prices of each item as I ring them up. I frequently am asked this and find it thoroughly annoying. Well I get to this pink overall set and it rings up 40% off at the grand price of $10.80.

She snaps, "That should be $9!"

I say,"No ma'am, $10.80."--Thinking to myself,"That's like a dollar more, quit your bitchin'"

Then she blabbers on about how there was a sign that said it was $9. So I frustratingly grab the pink overall set and walk with her to the sign knowing that I, as always, am going to prove some stupid bitch wrong. Sure enough the sign clearly states that all Capri Sets are $9. I explain this to her and even show her the said Capri Set and she responds with,"Well I want it for $9, that's what the sign says!"

I go get the MCA (Merchandise Customer Assist), T, and ask her to speak slowly to the woman because I apparently am difficult to understand. The illiterate woman then has the fucking nerve to start arguing with T! I call the manager.

I am ringing up the rest of her stuff while we wait for the manager to come. While doing so, she says,"Just forget it, I don't want it."

I SO wanted to scream at her,"Bitch you better take it after I have had to deal with your crap for 15 minutes!!" When the manager came she acted like she didn't even want to tell him what the problem was because it was no big deal. He explained the sign and she was like, "Yes, I know, the Capri Sets." As if it had finally clicked in her wee little brain.

Why does it take 3 people to explain a sign to someone? WHY??

Dumb Customers

So I am getting change at the Jewelry Cashrwrap. I have been going back and forth attempting to get change for like an hour by now because, by god I need some fucking nickles! They finally have some so I write out a change slip and go get some. The Shoe Sales lady is ahead of me to get change. I wait.

Here's the issue: I put up a sign at my register that states,"This Register is closed," while I'm gone. This is written in English and Spanish. While waiting to get my nickles I see a pack of 8 Mexicans walk up to my register with a shitload of Sears crap and just stand there. I'm like,"Fuck'em, I need nickles. They can go somewhere else." But they don't. They fucking wait there like a cashier is magically going to appear before their eyes. They all look like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off because they just keep bobbing around as if movement will conjur up assistance. I mean, there is a sign!! Can they not fucking read?! Even if they couldn't, you would think that after TEN minutes you would move elsewhere!

The sad thing is, this happens all the time. I swear if a manager or someone didn't come by and direct them to a different Cashwrap, they would stand there all fucking day. I don't get it.