Dumb Customers #4
Customers have belly issues. Something about going to shop at Sears gives people the urge to flaunt their guts. When I say guts I don't mean abs, I mean beer-bellies and I-ate-one-to-many-tortillas- bellies.
These women walk in with stretch denim pants that were bought 2 sizes to small. Fabric can only stretch so far and when one can see the zipper holding on for its dear life...one would think a lightbulb would go off. But no...instead of a lightbulb, the fashion devil pops up and says, "Hey why don't you put on that shirt you've had since you were 5; the tight shirt will look hot with the tight pants." So then not only is there a camel toe talking to you, but a stretch-marked navel smiling at you as well. What's worse is that these women walk around thinking they are hot stuff. It's Nasty!!!
The men are actually nastier due to men being hairy creatures. In the Hardware section these men come in from oil rigs and under cars to purchase tools. Since they are no-longer at work they untuck their shirts. Therefore their apron of fat is peeping out from the bottom of the shirt and doing a jiggly dance with ever step the men take. Another thing is that these men don't have asses. There isn't a lump to hold up their pants, so not only do you get a belly dance but you get to see the crack house in all its hairy glory.
I can't count the number of times these people have almost made me vomit.